Hey Men! Yes, I'm talking to you. Do you have an outlet?

Recently I had the honor of spending time with 14 other men to discuss the pursuit of harmony and joy. What became very apparent was that men need an outlet - more importantly, a healthy outlet.

You see, society has expected men to be the provider, the protector, others' emotional strength, and successful. I'm not suggesting there is anything wrong with these on the surface...it's good to be strong for others, watch over your family, and find success in your pursuits. However, these expectations have driven some unintended consequences - independence and suppression (sadness, anger, vulnerability, guilt, and more).

As I reflected on my personal experiences, many of the men in my life turned to outlets that were socially acceptable but not necessarily the healthiest of choices which turned out to be a detriment to their long term relationships and health; things like being "busy", packing schedules, long hours at work, and drinking (to numb the pain), just to name a few. Which, in turn, influenced the choices I made from my early adulthood to the present, to some extent.

That said, I realize that my experiences and small sample of men mentioned above doesn't necessarily correlate to the greater body of men. So, what does the research on loneliness and community tell us? Here are some stats that are relative to the discussion.

Loneliness

• A 2023 survey by the U.S. Surgeon General found that one in three men reports feeling lonely on a regular basis.

• Research from Brigham Young University suggests that chronic loneliness increases the risk of early death by 26%, comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Community

• A 2023 survey by the U.S. Surgeon General found that men with strong social connections are 50% more likely to report high life satisfaction than those who feel isolated.

• Harvard’s Study of Adult Development (one of the longest-running studies on happiness) found that men with strong friendships live longer, healthier lives.

• A 2021 study in The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that men who regularly engage in group activities have lower rates of depression and anxiety.

  
  

I don't know about you, but to me, the correlation between being involved in a community and how you experience life is startling. The truth is, loneliness is a serious issue that affects millions of men worldwide, impacting mental and physical health in profound ways.

Here's the challenge, if men need community but are too caught up into societal norms to realize it, what do they do? While there isn't a one-size fits all solution, here are some steps you can take to lean into your community.

1. Redefine Strength

Many men were raised to believe that discussing emotions is a sign of weakness. In reality, sharing your struggles is a sign of strength. Start by checking in with close friends or family. A simple "Hey, I’ve been feeling a little off lately" can open doors to deeper conversations.

💡 Try This: If talking feels difficult, start with small, low-stakes interactions—comment on a coworker’s project, send a text to an old friend, or even chat with a neighbor.

2. Rebuild (or Build) Your Social Circle

Friendships require maintenance. If your circle has shrunk over the years, be intentional about reconnecting or forming new bonds.

💡 Try This:

• Schedule a monthly get-together with old friends.

• Join a local club, sports league, or professional networking group.

• Find a group based on hobbies—whether it's a chess club, a car enthusiast meet-up, or a hiking crew.

3. Prioritize Face-to-Face Connections

Texts and DMs are convenient, but they don’t replace real, in-person interaction. Research shows that face-to-face communication releases more oxytocin, the "bonding hormone," which helps fight loneliness.

💡 Try This: Instead of sending a quick message, invite someone for coffee, lunch, or a workout session.

4. Volunteer or Give Back

Helping others creates a sense of purpose and belonging. Studies show that volunteering reduces feelings of loneliness and increases overall happiness.

💡 Try This: Look for local organizations that need support—mentorship programs, community projects, or even coaching youth sports.

5. Take Care of Your Physical Health

There’s a strong link between physical and mental well-being. Exercise releases endorphins, which combat stress and improve mood.

💡 Try This: If the gym feels intimidating, find an alternative—join a cycling group, take up boxing, or start hiking. The key is movement.

6. Seek Professional Help If Needed

If loneliness is leading to depression or anxiety, reaching out to a professional is not a failure—it’s an investment in your well-being. Therapy or coaching can provide tools to build confidence and reconnect with others.

💡 Try This: Online therapy or men’s support groups are great entry points if in-person sessions feel overwhelming.

Final Thoughts: Brotherhood is a Lifeline

Loneliness isn’t just a feeling—it’s a health risk. But community is a choice.

By taking small, intentional steps, you can build (or rebuild) a strong support system. It’s not about having hundreds of friends—it’s about having a few good ones who truly understand and support you.

So, make the call. Send the text. Join the group. Your mental health, happiness, and longevity depend on it.

The strongest men aren’t the ones who stand alone. They’re the ones who stand together!!!